All in the Faculty

A Play in Two Acts by William Fowkes

Brilliant professors can be rank amateurs in the field of self-knowledge.

It’s all in the faculty….

We’re a close-knit family here.     

– Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Edward Albee

Description

We all follow our dreams, but some of us get sidetracked along the way. Ned Jenkins knew he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a college professor even when he was just a boy. Now he’s finally within reach of achieving his life ambition. Arriving at bucolic Humbert College in upstate New York, he is determined to get tenure in the philosophy department but fears that this—his fourth teaching job—may be his last chance to make it in academia. He seems well on his way to fulfilling his dream as he is embraced by the faculty and students alike until he makes romantic and political missteps that threaten to dash his hopes and divide the whole campus in the process. Through it all, he discovers that he may be an expert in his field, but he’s a rank amateur when it comes to self-knowledge.

ALL IN THE FACULTY

A Play in Two Acts by William Fowkes

SETTING

Humbert College, a small liberal arts college overlooking Seneca Lake in Olmstead, NY.

TIME

The late 1990s

CAST

9 players

Actor # 1 (male)

Professor Ned Jenkins. Age: 30s. Articulate and likeable. Son of Norbert Jenkins, distinguished professor of Comp Lit at Yale. Doctoral thesis (Wisconsin): “Hegel’s Aesthetics and the End of Art.” Taught philosophy at several colleges before coming to Humbert. If he fails to get tenure, his academic career will be over.

Actor # 2 (female)

Professor Marlene Bernstein. Age: 30s. Funny, yet sensitive. Always dressed in black, with a rose pendant pinned over her heart. Tenured member of the French Department. Doctoral thesis (Tufts): “Passion in the Plays of Jean Giraudoux.” Never misses a new faculty reception—for good reason.

Actor # 3 (male)

Professor William (“The Duke”) Duke. Age: 60s. Clever, opinionated, and intimidating. Chair of the English Department. Doctoral thesis (Chicago): “The Bloom of Youth: Erotic Motifs in the World of Oscar Wilde.” Although a firebrand when riled up, he has been keeping a low profile since the death of his lover of many years, Coach Chad Palmieri. Likes to drink. Likes you to drink.

Actor # 4 (male)

Professor Jock Richardson. Age: 30s. Imperious, preppy, and sarcastic. Ned’s rival. His full name is Charles Standish Richardson. “Jock” is an ironic nickname inherited from his form mates at Hotchkiss. A young George Sanders could play this role.

Actor # 5 (male)

Professor Alfred Giulliano. Age: 50s. Jocular and expressive. Everyone loves him—a teddy bear of a man, but a lion when roused. Doctoral thesis (Pittsburgh): “Cartesian Rationalism and the Rise of Doubt.” Twice married. Works overtime to keep his second wife happy.

Actor # 6 (female)

Sarah Carter Giulliano. Age: 30s. Cool and sexy. An experimental painter. Alfred’s second wife. They met in Greece one summer and were married by Labor Day. Always looking for something—or someone—to keep her occupied in Olmstead.

Actor # 7 (male)

Professor Randall (“Street”) Streeter. Age: 60s. Pompous, but gallant and well meaning. Thesis (Princeton): “Spinoza and the Quest for Substance.” Last paper published: 18 years ago. Last day sober: before Ned Jenkins was born.

Actor # 8 (female)

Professor Mary Margaret Dougherty. Age: 60s. Hard-working and sincere. A self-described spinster. Sports a bun and glasses. History Department. Doctoral thesis (Notre Dame): “Courtship and the Roman Catholic Church in Medieval Europe.” One of the most accomplished scholars at Humbert College. The milk of human kindness flows through her veins.

Actor # 9 (male)

Professor Ralph Bukowski. Age: 40s. Analytical, judgmental, and blunt. Thesis (Michigan): “Performative Utterances in Ordinary Language.” The first person in his family to go to college. Dislikes “fuzzy thinkers”—that is, anyone who disagrees with him.

Grad student. Age: 40s. A devoted student of Ned’s father.

President Ravenal (“Ravy”) Porter. Age: 40s. Distracted, but sympathetic. Enjoys his veto power. Has a wandering eye for women.